So What Is Life Going To Be Like Under Dyche?

channys6thswan

channys6thswan

Lingers Long On Cank Street
We’ll go back to wearing army issue boots with six studs, of the sort Soho likes to see people wearing on his allotment. Old leather panelled ball, too with laces. The pitch won’t be over watered any more, at least not after the mud has got four inches deep.

Vardy will be paired with either Skeletor or Van Damme up top, with Skeletor dropping back to provide extra cover for Tarkowski and Pope at corners.

The Seagrave Holiday Park will be boarded up in favour of an old lean to in Blackbird Road, with players learning skills with a tin can on a cobbled yard, with goalies practicing skills with a tennis ball at the bottom of a nylon stocking.

Food outlets will sell bread with dripping except for Sunday games, when it will be Madeira cake and fish paste sandwiches.

Wanderin’ Star will become the goal music, and we’ll pay all transfer fees in pennies.

Relegation will be flirted with in season one, and from then on, all the free flowing football we ached for will stop in favour of the mixer. Wood will be re-signed for 25,000p.
 
channys6thswan said:
We’ll go back to wearing army issue boots with six studs, of the sort Soho likes to see people wearing on his allotment. Old leather panelled ball, too with laces. The pitch won’t be over watered any more, at least not after the mud has got four inches deep.

Vardy will be paired with either Skeletor or Van Damme up top, with Skeletor dropping back to provide extra cover for Tarkowski and Pope at corners.

The Seagrave Holiday Park will be boarded up in favour of an old lean to in Blackbird Road, with players learning skills with a tin can on a cobbled yard, with goalies practicing skills with a tennis ball at the bottom of a nylon stocking.

Food outlets will sell bread with dripping except for Sunday games, when it will be Madeira cake and fish paste sandwiches.

Wanderin’ Star will become the goal music, and we’ll pay all transfer fees in pennies.

Relegation will be flirted with in season one, and from then on, all the free flowing football we ached for will stop in favour of the mixer. Wood will be re-signed for 25,000p.
Click to expand...
(y)
 
channys6thswan said:
We’ll go back to wearing army issue boots with six studs, of the sort Soho likes to see people wearing on his allotment. Old leather panelled ball, too with laces. The pitch won’t be over watered any more, at least not after the mud has got four inches deep.

Vardy will be paired with either Skeletor or Van Damme up top, with Skeletor dropping back to provide extra cover for Tarkowski and Pope at corners.

The Seagrave Holiday Park will be boarded up in favour of an old lean to in Blackbird Road, with players learning skills with a tin can on a cobbled yard, with goalies practicing skills with a tennis ball at the bottom of a nylon stocking.

Food outlets will sell bread with dripping except for Sunday games, when it will be Madeira cake and fish paste sandwiches.

Wanderin’ Star will become the goal music, and we’ll pay all transfer fees in pennies.

Relegation will be flirted with in season one, and from then on, all the free flowing football we ached for will stop in favour of the mixer. Wood will be re-signed for 25,000p.
Click to expand...
Too right. Bring it on
And whats with all this grass on the pitch?
The only grass come February should be a 6 inch strip down each touchline. And liberal dollops of sand in each goalmouth.
And no subs.
Head injuries??? Just run it off.
 
channys6thswan said:
We’ll go back to wearing army issue boots with six studs, of the sort Soho likes to see people wearing on his allotment. Old leather panelled ball, too with laces. The pitch won’t be over watered any more, at least not after the mud has got four inches deep.

Vardy will be paired with either Skeletor or Van Damme up top, with Skeletor dropping back to provide extra cover for Tarkowski and Pope at corners.

The Seagrave Holiday Park will be boarded up in favour of an old lean to in Blackbird Road, with players learning skills with a tin can on a cobbled yard, with goalies practicing skills with a tennis ball at the bottom of a nylon stocking.

Food outlets will sell bread with dripping except for Sunday games, when it will be Madeira cake and fish paste sandwiches.

Wanderin’ Star will become the goal music, and we’ll pay all transfer fees in pennies.

Relegation will be flirted with in season one, and from then on, all the free flowing football we ached for will stop in favour of the mixer. Wood will be re-signed for 25,000p.
Click to expand...
He'll get the beers in, he promised
 
Sohofox said:
Too right. Bring it on
And whats with all this grass on the pitch?
The only grass come February should be a 6 inch strip down each touchline. And liberal dollops of sand in each goalmouth.
And no subs.
Head injuries??? Just run it off.
Click to expand...
Also building a sand hill that can be seen from space.
 
A lorry load of Ellimans Rub (horse liniment) was seen near Hinckley this morning heading in the direction of the Leicester slipway of the M69. Closely followed by Dyche in his dark grey executive Trabant!
 
channys6thswan said:
Also building a sand hill that can be seen from space.
Click to expand...
Only one medical trainer wearing white coat ,rolled up wollen polo neck, trilby hat running on the pitch to treat the injured player with water contained in an old football bladder and old car sponge.
No communication with manager via radio.Saint John's ambulence men unfold stretcher and carry of said injured player.
 
And you'll be guaranteed dementia by the age of 68 after 3 hours a day practising defending corners non-stop.
 
Tannoy announcement at halftime that some stupid dickhead has left his dark grey executive Trabant blocking an exit!
 
Will he bring back the old scoreboard?

scoreboard.jpg
 
Sohofox said:
Too right. Bring it on
And whats with all this grass on the pitch?
The only grass come February should be a 6 inch strip down each touchline. And liberal dollops of sand in each goalmouth.
And no subs.
Head injuries??? Just run it off.
Click to expand...

And no changing muddy shirts at Half Time.
All games to k.o at 3pm Saturday.
Refs to have no ear pieces, and just ref the game.
VAR should only mean one thing..... straight from the post match Jock Wallace school of translation and fit for M.O.T.D viewing..... very average refereeing.
All goalkeepers play in plain green shirts, and can pick up a back pass.... only 3 or 4 steps though.....
 
Brauny said:
And no changing muddy shirts at Half Time.
All games to k.o at 3pm Saturday.
Refs to have no ear pieces, and just ref the game.
VAR should only mean one thing..... straight from the post match Jock Wallace school of translation and fit for M.O.T.D viewing..... very average refereeing.
All goalkeepers play in plain green shirts, and can pick up a back pass.... only 3 or 4 steps though.....
Click to expand...
No technical areas
 
...telling the newsagent buff or green on Saturday teatime. And reading the halftimes in the paper you were delivering Late Press section....
 
Until the Blackbird road lean to Is completed several major changes with be happening at the Seagrave holiday camp

1). They’ll be a ‘reveille’ at 0530 each morning to wake the happy campers up. It will obviously be the post horn gallop. Within 10 mins all players will be fully dressed in appropriate kit to run the 20 mile course before breakfast. This course will include visiting the Wanlip Hill and each player will have a huge rucksack on containing a minimum of 500 unused clappers kindly donated by those that used to be in SK1 but have thrown them away due to being ejected from their seats
2). The food will be completely changed to incorporate dishes Dyche picked up at Burnley. This means black pudding 12 different ways including deep fried, battered etc and of course tripe and onions. They’ll be no foreign muck allowed so spaghetti vongole, coq au vin, paella are gone and the lamb kleftiko has been replaced by Lancashire hot pot.
3). The kids will be cleaning the older ones boots. Have Thomas, Fofana, KDH, Justin ever used dubbin before?
 
I think Top will also be very impressed by the swift resolution of the tannoy speaker issue. The latter will mark a cultural sea change to a more "manly" and "efficient" way of managing and resolving conflicts.

When briefed on the issue, he will nod wisely whilst secretly fumbling for his dictionary underneath his desk to look up the words "thumped" and "tw@t" later.
 
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