Open Letter To Mayor Soulsby


Silver Surfer
Be honest, Mr. Soulsby.

The Mercury says the ghost pirates are here because you plundered their accursed doubloons.
I wouldn't put it past you, as you've had a history of inviting trouble into our fair city. It certainly explains why a ghostly ship full of skeletal pirates is sailing around town and climbing down to attack, stab and kidnap our citizens.

Own up and give them back their damn pirate treasure before it causes this city anymore damage.
We've got problems enough as is with all the potholes. I will not condone a mayor who tolerates pirates, much less brutal pirate vengeance by taking something man ought not to take.




Silver Surfer
To: Mr. Oadlad

From: The Office of Peter Soulsby

Dear Mr. Oadlad.

Thank you so much for your interest in local government. We at the mayor's office are delighted to serve a city swelling with so much pride and believe your impassioned letters are the lifeblood of this government.

Contrary to the imaginative folks at the Mercury, Mayor Soulsby has not stolen any pirate treasure.

Our humble mayor is not keeping the stolen skull of the nefarious pirate Henry Morgan in his desk drawer. That's patently absurd, no matter how closely the ghostly ship attacking this town matches the one Henry Morgan is said to have captained. Or his recent trip to Jamaica.
Piracy is an unfortunate side effect of today's information age.



Apart from going to the football what sane person would spend any time in the city, even Lord Peter spends his time shagging in the suburbs.