Led By Donkeys
Roofer
When Boris Johnson was reported to have bought expensive wallpaper using donations that hadn’t been properly declared, Sir Keir Starmer was utterly appalled. Addressing the Commons in April 2021, he referred to the then prime minister as “Major Sleaze”, and accused him of being “mired in sleaze, cronyism and scandal”.
How incredibly unfortunate, then, that a mere two months after becoming PM himself, Sir Keir is in the midst of an eerily similar row – having failed to declare that a multimillionaire Labour donor bought expensive outfits for his wife, the impeccably on-trend Lady Starmer. Thanks to his celebrated powers of hindsight, Sir Keir is doubtless now able to see that it might have been wiser not to kick up such a stink about Mr Johnson’s wallpaper. Because it’s made him look ever so slightly like a screaming hypocrite.
Happily, he’s at least got the brilliant David Lammy to defend him. The Foreign Secretary has helpfully explained to the public that, in the US, presidents receive “a huge budget paid for by the taxpayer” to help their wives “look their best”. Sadly, UK taxpayers are rather less generous – which means that, to ensure their wives look nice “for the country”, prime ministers have no choice but to “rely on donations”.
I’m sure the public will have been overcome with sympathy. In 2022-23, after all, Sir Keir made just £404,030, so how could he possibly afford to buy his wife a new dress? The poor man can’t even stretch to a pair of glasses, and has instead had to rely on the same Labour donor to buy some for him.
As a result of the cost of living crisis, all too many of us know just how hard it can be to keep our wives in £725 ankle gowns. But now that even our political superiors are suffering, something must be done.
On behalf of all taxpayers, I urge the Government to create a Winter Frock Allowance, to help the wives of struggling premiers survive the Christmas party season. Black holes be damned. The money must be found
How incredibly unfortunate, then, that a mere two months after becoming PM himself, Sir Keir is in the midst of an eerily similar row – having failed to declare that a multimillionaire Labour donor bought expensive outfits for his wife, the impeccably on-trend Lady Starmer. Thanks to his celebrated powers of hindsight, Sir Keir is doubtless now able to see that it might have been wiser not to kick up such a stink about Mr Johnson’s wallpaper. Because it’s made him look ever so slightly like a screaming hypocrite.
Happily, he’s at least got the brilliant David Lammy to defend him. The Foreign Secretary has helpfully explained to the public that, in the US, presidents receive “a huge budget paid for by the taxpayer” to help their wives “look their best”. Sadly, UK taxpayers are rather less generous – which means that, to ensure their wives look nice “for the country”, prime ministers have no choice but to “rely on donations”.
I’m sure the public will have been overcome with sympathy. In 2022-23, after all, Sir Keir made just £404,030, so how could he possibly afford to buy his wife a new dress? The poor man can’t even stretch to a pair of glasses, and has instead had to rely on the same Labour donor to buy some for him.
As a result of the cost of living crisis, all too many of us know just how hard it can be to keep our wives in £725 ankle gowns. But now that even our political superiors are suffering, something must be done.
On behalf of all taxpayers, I urge the Government to create a Winter Frock Allowance, to help the wives of struggling premiers survive the Christmas party season. Black holes be damned. The money must be found
