I took Muzzysmissingearing into the Fox & Pheasant a few years ago.
I told him to keep schtum and I would order the drinks.
It was going swimmingly - until he got up and went to the bar and asked "Have you got a cheese cob, miduck"?
The place went icily silent.
I legged it and faacked off.
I think he got out all in one piece but frankly I was past caring.