Best Lyrics?


Daniel drinks his weight, drinks like Richard Burton, Dance like John Travolta now....James Getting away with it....brilliant

Lonesome Crow

Pay at the gate.
Or this classic by the Pixies -

I think you're pretty
You make me hard
Your island skin
Looks Mexican
Our love is rice and beans and horses lard
Your bones got a little machine
You're the bone machine


I sacked Glover
Pulling the ice axe from my leg
I staggered on
Spindrift stinging my remaining eye
I finally managed to reach the station
Only to find that the bus replacement service had broken down

After wondering to myself whether or not it should actually be called a train replacement service
I walked out onto the concourse and noticed the giant screen seemed to have been tampered with
Probably by a junior employee
Disgruntled commuters were being regaled with some dismal TVM
Involving a tug-of-love-custody-battle
Stockard Channing held sway

Down in the High Street somebody careered out of Boots without due care or attention
I suggest that they learn some pedestrian etiquette
I.e. sidle out of the store gingerly
Embrace the margin

Fat kids with sausage rolls
Poor sods conducting polls
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets

I try to put everything into perspective
Set it against the scale of human suffering
And I thought of the Mugabe government
And the children of the Calcutta railways
This works for a while
But then I encounter Primark FM
Overhead a rainbow appears
In black and white

Shite Day
I guess this must be National Shite Day
This surely must be National Shite Day
Don't tell me, it's National Shite Day

Float... float on
Float... float on
Barry... Herpes

I got a letter from Stringy Bob
Still on suicide watch
Screws not happy
Spotted a Marsh Fritillary during association
Was roundly ignored
What news you

I felt sorry for him
He'd only been locked up for public nuisance offences
One of which saw him beachcombing the Dee Estuary
Found a dead wading bird
Took it home, parcelled it up, and sent it off to the rubber-faced irritant Phil Cool
With a note inside which read: "Is this your Sanderling?"

Another time saw him answering an advert in the music press
"Keyboard player required: Doors, Floyd, etc.
Must be committed, no time wasters"
You can guess the rest
I always imagined he would simply wander off some day into the hills
To be found months later
His carcass stripped by homeless dogs
His exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow
I folded away the letter and put it in my inside pocket
All of a sudden I felt brushed by the wings of something dark
May the Lord have mercy on Stringy Bob

Shite Day
I do believe it's National Shite Day
It all points to National Shite Day
Someone's declared it National Shite Day
Shite Day
My birthday! On National Shite Day
No bogroll, it's National Shite Day
Cue drumroll, it's National Shite Day
If she's out on the drink tonight you’ll spot her in a heartbeat
Looking like a keeper but she's never kept a clean sheet
All the lads around her like the champions of west street
Yeah her mates are fit, but she's a fuckin’ athlete


Formerly known as Zorro
“Playtime is over, here comes the blues.” Roger Chapman - nice to think it’s got a double meaning!


‘Cause everybody hates a tourist
Especially one that thinks it’s all such a laugh
And the chip stains and grease will come out in the bath

Lonesome Crow

Pay at the gate.
Me Tonto Kimosabi
Me go and catchee baddy.
We watched our friends grow up together,
And we saw them as they fell.
Some of them fell into heaven,
And some of them fell into hell.
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
How the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test

Changes - Bowie- brilliant


Gold Bellend
Twenty five quid to live on
Seven days a week to survive
Five and twenty pictures of the queen
You won't see the starvation in her eyes
Twenty five quid to dish out
And you're already ten in debt
So with fifteen singles left over
The landlord gets the rent
Maggie, Maggie you cunt Maggie, Maggie you cunt Maggie
Maggie you cunt Maggie Maggie Maggie Maggie you fucking cunt
Twenty five reasons for trouble
Three million mouths to feed
They're destroying your mind and body
While they increase their own needs
Twenty five quid of insult
Two meals soon kills your health
They want to see you suffer
They want to see you dead
Fuck you Maggie


We must be in heaven man
I don't belong here
said old Tessa out loud
Easy love there's the safe way home
Thankful for her fine fair discount
Tess co-operates

When Genesis were a proper band.
Not forgetting-
Knights of the green shield stamp and shout.

Lonesome Crow

Pay at the gate.
This morning at four-fifty
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
She looked just like her mother
If there could be another

And now she's two years older
Her mother's with a soldier
She left me when my drinking
Became a proper stinging
The Devil came and took me
From bar to street to bookie
No more nights by the telly
No more nights nappies smelling


King Crimson

The wall on which the prophets wrote
Is cracking at the seams.
Upon the instruments if death
The sunlight brightly gleams.
When every man is torn apart
With nightmares and with dreams,
Will no one lay the laurel wreath
As silence drowns the screams.
Between the iron gates of fate,
The seeds of time were sown,
And watered by the deeds of those
Who know and who are known;
Knowledge is a deadly friend
When no one sets the rules.
The fate of all mankind I see
Is in the hands of fools.
Confusion will be my epitaph.
As I crawl a cracked and broken path
If we make it we can all sit back
And laugh.
But I fear tomorrow I'll be crying,
Yes I fear tomorrow I'll be crying.


I sacked Glover
Today I saw her brother
Who said she’s with another
They’ve gone away together
You’d better speak to Heather
And so I spoke to Heather
At first about the weather
And then about her sister
And how I really missed her
Maybe she could tell her
I’ve still got her umbrella
She prized it rather highly
It saved her once in Filey
It came on all torrential
And therefore it’s essential
You tell me where she’s living
So it to her I’m giving

She’s in Broadstairs
She’s in Broadstairs
B for Broadstairs

Apparently she’s seeing
A bloke who used to be in
Acidic Regulator
From near the equator
I couldn’t bear to listen
Or stand to see them kissing
Unable to forgive her
I jumped into the river
I’m on another planet
She’s on the Isle of Thanet
I wake up on a trolley
And realise the folly
I tell them I can manage
There isn’t any damage
And as I’m being led out
I get my A to Z out

She’s in Broadstairs
She’s in Broadstairs
B for Broadstairs