kpbw
Sole Purveyor Of 'Kaypee's Positivity Pills'™
In full recognition that dark and dismal clouds ('cumulonimbus' - so says Phil Morrish, BBC Radio Leicester's meteorological expert) have descended on the depressed denizens of Bentleys Roof I am positively (ahem!) delighted to bring very exciting news of a major pharmacological breakthrough!! This new wonder drug is absolutely guaranteed to totally transform the negative mindset of anyone who felt our club was heading helter-skelter to the National Conference. All who choose to purchase this infallible new mind-altering product will not regret their investment one iota!
I have spared absolutely no expense in employing the finest, world-renowned scientific minds to reformulate 'Kaypee's Positivity Pills™' to counter any further descent for the truly faithful into the Slough Of Despond. Early trials have had very encouraging results and 'Kaypee's Positivity Pills (Championship Extra Strength)™' tabs will surely be a must buy for even the most sceptical punter (yea, even buzz and Tartan [add own naysayer here]) for the forthcoming season! Money back 100% guaranteed (payable in Nigerian naira) if not completely satisfied. On sale now!
Comments from some of the triallists on taking the new formula wonder drug:
"They're a boon!" Mrs. B. Essex
"They're buckin brilliant. Danny Ward is the World's No.1 keeper. God Save Ireland" GTIF
"Can you stick them up your jacksie?" Mr. Hugh Janus
"No more throwing away my Winter Fool's Allowance. Kaypee's pills are mint!" Anonymous Greenwich allotment owner.
"It's a miracle! I no longer need my armbands for swimming" Daz
"Fuck off you cunt" bnet
There's absolutely no need to be:
Bemused at Birmingham City
Brassed off at Blackburn Rovers
Bereft at Bristol City
Cursing at Cardiff City
Crying at Coventry City
Horrified at Huddersfield Town
Hacked off at Hull City
Incensed at Ipswich Town
Livid at Leeds United
Mad in Middlesbrough
Mental at Millwall
Narked at Norwich City
Pissed off at Plymouth Argyle
Perplexed at Preston North End
Querulous at Queens Park Rangers
Raging at Rotherham United
Sick at Sheffield Wednesday
Stupefied at Southampton
Sorrowful at Stoke City
Seething in Sunderland
Splenetic at Swansea City
Worried at Watford
Wrathful at West Bromwich Albion
Don't delay, order yours today! Banish knee-jerkery forever! Say bye-bye to bi-polar misery! Instead you'll be forever laughing and totally loved up as Leicester City waltz their way back to the Premiership with consummate ease.
All orders and enquiries to kosherkaypee@twatinthehat.com
Altogether now "Stevie Gerrard's [Editors please check] Blue and White Army!!"
COME ON YOU CITY SLICKERS!!!!
I have spared absolutely no expense in employing the finest, world-renowned scientific minds to reformulate 'Kaypee's Positivity Pills™' to counter any further descent for the truly faithful into the Slough Of Despond. Early trials have had very encouraging results and 'Kaypee's Positivity Pills (Championship Extra Strength)™' tabs will surely be a must buy for even the most sceptical punter (yea, even buzz and Tartan [add own naysayer here]) for the forthcoming season! Money back 100% guaranteed (payable in Nigerian naira) if not completely satisfied. On sale now!
Comments from some of the triallists on taking the new formula wonder drug:
"They're a boon!" Mrs. B. Essex
"They're buckin brilliant. Danny Ward is the World's No.1 keeper. God Save Ireland" GTIF
"Can you stick them up your jacksie?" Mr. Hugh Janus
"No more throwing away my Winter Fool's Allowance. Kaypee's pills are mint!" Anonymous Greenwich allotment owner.
"It's a miracle! I no longer need my armbands for swimming" Daz
"Fuck off you cunt" bnet
There's absolutely no need to be:
Bemused at Birmingham City
Brassed off at Blackburn Rovers
Bereft at Bristol City
Cursing at Cardiff City
Crying at Coventry City
Horrified at Huddersfield Town
Hacked off at Hull City
Incensed at Ipswich Town
Livid at Leeds United
Mad in Middlesbrough
Mental at Millwall
Narked at Norwich City
Pissed off at Plymouth Argyle
Perplexed at Preston North End
Querulous at Queens Park Rangers
Raging at Rotherham United
Sick at Sheffield Wednesday
Stupefied at Southampton
Sorrowful at Stoke City
Seething in Sunderland
Splenetic at Swansea City
Worried at Watford
Wrathful at West Bromwich Albion
Don't delay, order yours today! Banish knee-jerkery forever! Say bye-bye to bi-polar misery! Instead you'll be forever laughing and totally loved up as Leicester City waltz their way back to the Premiership with consummate ease.
All orders and enquiries to kosherkaypee@twatinthehat.com
Altogether now "Stevie Gerrard's [Editors please check] Blue and White Army!!"
COME ON YOU CITY SLICKERS!!!!
